By Kim Deppe
It may just harken back to our days in high school or college when we had an essay to write and were having a little trouble. Maybe we didn't know enough about the topic or we didn't do the reading, but there we were having to b.s. our way through a test answer or a paper. It's happened to most of us. That's when we start stringing together the largest, four-syllable words we can conjure in hopes of sounding as if we know what we're writing about. Over time, I think we keep writing in that high-fallutin' style when we are doing our resumes, trying to impress a boss, or just feel that we need to throw as much high-tech sounding content as possible into something we are writing. The end result is usually a bunch of convoluted, professorial writing that few people really understand.
Here's an example: I heard an ad on the radio this week for a local physician group. I'm paraphrasing here, but it's pretty close to truth. The copy went something like this: "we provide a full continuum of care with state-of-the-art medical equipment and board-certified specialty physicians who are committed to providing the very best possible quality of care."
Now, I confess here that in my 21 years of healthcare marketing I, too, have written garbage like this. It populated print ads and annual reports and the medical professionals I reported to just loved it. The only problem is that "Joe Sixpack" didn't get most of that. Not because Joe is stupid, but because Joe does not speak "medicine." He speaks colloquial American English. Or, in my case, Southern. Joe probably doesn't care that we have a "full continuum of care" (whatever that means) or that the doctors are board-certified (whatever that means). And one would hope that every practicing physician is providing "the very best possible quality of care." That's a weasel phrase designed to keep them out of court, anyway.
What I really wish the physician group had told me is why I should choose them over someone else. Do they have extended office hours? Do they set aside time for daily walk-in patients? Do they use Twitter to respond to patient questions? You see where I am going with this. In the medical industry, but also in other high-tech fields, it is easy to slip into a lot of jargon when you are writing letters, brochures, or even advertising copy. Everyone thinks it sounds sexier to say bi-modal doppler 4-D imaging (I made that up) than to say "we have the latest diagnostic tools to help us figure out what is wrong with you."
The next time you visit your company web page or read your own brochure, see if you can spot any jargon that should be removed. Pay attention to the reading level, too. Journalists are taught to write at about an 8th grade reading level. Most word processing programs have a tool that will tell you what grade level you are writing at - try to keep it below 10th grade if you can. Keep sentences short. Use jargon sparingly, if at all. Pretend that you are explaining what you do or sell to someone from another planet. By not assuming that they know anything about your business, you can be sure to tell your story in a way they will understand and appreciate.
It may just harken back to our days in high school or college when we had an essay to write and were having a little trouble. Maybe we didn't know enough about the topic or we didn't do the reading, but there we were having to b.s. our way through a test answer or a paper. It's happened to most of us. That's when we start stringing together the largest, four-syllable words we can conjure in hopes of sounding as if we know what we're writing about. Over time, I think we keep writing in that high-fallutin' style when we are doing our resumes, trying to impress a boss, or just feel that we need to throw as much high-tech sounding content as possible into something we are writing. The end result is usually a bunch of convoluted, professorial writing that few people really understand.
Here's an example: I heard an ad on the radio this week for a local physician group. I'm paraphrasing here, but it's pretty close to truth. The copy went something like this: "we provide a full continuum of care with state-of-the-art medical equipment and board-certified specialty physicians who are committed to providing the very best possible quality of care."
Now, I confess here that in my 21 years of healthcare marketing I, too, have written garbage like this. It populated print ads and annual reports and the medical professionals I reported to just loved it. The only problem is that "Joe Sixpack" didn't get most of that. Not because Joe is stupid, but because Joe does not speak "medicine." He speaks colloquial American English. Or, in my case, Southern. Joe probably doesn't care that we have a "full continuum of care" (whatever that means) or that the doctors are board-certified (whatever that means). And one would hope that every practicing physician is providing "the very best possible quality of care." That's a weasel phrase designed to keep them out of court, anyway.
What I really wish the physician group had told me is why I should choose them over someone else. Do they have extended office hours? Do they set aside time for daily walk-in patients? Do they use Twitter to respond to patient questions? You see where I am going with this. In the medical industry, but also in other high-tech fields, it is easy to slip into a lot of jargon when you are writing letters, brochures, or even advertising copy. Everyone thinks it sounds sexier to say bi-modal doppler 4-D imaging (I made that up) than to say "we have the latest diagnostic tools to help us figure out what is wrong with you."
The next time you visit your company web page or read your own brochure, see if you can spot any jargon that should be removed. Pay attention to the reading level, too. Journalists are taught to write at about an 8th grade reading level. Most word processing programs have a tool that will tell you what grade level you are writing at - try to keep it below 10th grade if you can. Keep sentences short. Use jargon sparingly, if at all. Pretend that you are explaining what you do or sell to someone from another planet. By not assuming that they know anything about your business, you can be sure to tell your story in a way they will understand and appreciate.
Kim Deppe is President of Deppe Communications, an outsource marketing firm located in the Jacksonville, FL area. Deppe Communications provides marketing consulting, search engine optimization, search engine marketing, public relations and advertising services to businesses. Visit www.DeppeCommunications.com or E-mail Kim@DeppeCommunications.com to schedule a free consultation.
